The Amazing Absence of Pain

Hey there! If you zoom in you can see I’ve had this really awesome stye on my right eye for the last few days. Pretty, huh? I got sick last week and I guess this was the parting gift! A stye is not a big deal, but I’ll tell you, this one was painful and tender, and at its worst I looked like I’d been on the wrong end of a prizefight. It’s on its way out now, and I’ve been thinking about the gratitude you feel when pain starts to subside. I know a lot of you will relate.

I go through this with migraines when I get them, that relief and incredible gratitude I feel when the pain starts to lessen — the amazing absence of pain. So I was thinking about that over the last day and it occurred to me that painful relationships are like that, too. Sometimes we get caught up in an interaction and it’s insidious; maybe things start out sweetly enough and then little by little the dynamic starts to change and we just sort of keep accepting the changes until we’re part of an interaction that is so painful and unhealthy, we’re almost unrecognizable to ourselves. Ever dealt with that? That sums up most of my relationships as a young adult.

You know the parable about the frog? If you throw a frog in a pot of boiling water it will jump right out, but if you put it in a cool pot and slowly heat the water, it won’t realize it’s boiling until it’s too late. Ever been a burnt frog and somehow managed to claw your way out of that boiling pot even though frogs don’t have claws? Remember the relief when you woke up one morning and realized life was starting to feel good again and you were maybe catching a glimpse of someone you used to know, as in yourself? The gratitude and relief when the pain starts to subside.

Anyway, I’ve been in so many interactions like that with people over the years, and I’m about to launch an online course that’s all about how we stay centered and learn to care for our froggy selves without getting boiled! It’s a month-long course that begins March 12 and includes an unlimited 30-day subscription to the website if you don’t have one already, three live talks and one guided meditation per week, and journaling prompts Monday-Friday. I’ll be suggesting classes for each week that relate to the topic we’re diving into, and also meet your varying needs based on level and how much time you have. It’s $199 for the course, you can check here for more info and to register! Love you frogs.

Ribbit, ribbit!

Ally Hamilton

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