The hairs that stand up on the back of your neck do not lie. That sick feeling in your gut is there for a reason. If you have nagging doubts or fears, or something just does not feel right, don’t ignore that, or you will end up running heart first into a brick wall.
Having said that, if you have been betrayed in the past, you have to recognize the difference between listening to your intuition, and assuming all people will hurt you because one person did. And if you find that you are continually choosing people who treat you badly, then you have to look at why you feel you don’t deserve to be loved and cherished. Sometimes people send me emails that say something along the lines of, “Everybody cheats. Or lies. Or leaves”. No. Everyone you’re choosing does those things, and you need to figure out what deep pain is at the root of your choices. What original wound has not healed? You wouldn’t be playing it out over and over again, and trying to rewrite history if you had unhooked your journey from that old experience.
Overriding the voice of your intuition is a sure way to land yourself in a world of pain. And listen. Maybe you need to do that a few (or several) times to get the lesson. I remember times in my past knowing I was making an unhealthy choice, being aware of those hairs on the back of my neck, and doing it anyway. That’s one step ahead of doing it unconsciously, or one step further on the path of trusting your gut. So don’t beat yourself up, but don’t let yourself off the hook when it all goes bad, either. Don’t point the finger at the other person, turn it around and deal with yourself. Eventually you will realize hitting the wall feels really bad, and turning and walking in a different direction feels really good. Empowering. Liberating. Like you’re finally loving yourself.
I believe your heart and your intuition have it all figured out, and the mind is a mess. The mind is so loud and full of shoulds and ideas and judgments, and, “Oh, this looks great on paper, you’d be crazy not to pursue it!”. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships, either. We do this professionally, too. If you don’t get a hold of it, your mind is like a giant pinball machine, and your subconscious is the ball. Your unhealed wounds pull the trigger, and you, my friend, are falling down the chute.
A quiet mind is a gift. And it takes a lot of dedication and determination, but you can absolutely create space between your thoughts. A fair amount of it if you practice long enough. (This is the most beautiful and most life-changing result of a consistent yoga and meditation practice…it’s no magic bullet, but I can tell you after 20 years of practice six days a week, it works. And your hard work pays off because you actually become engaged with the present. Awake in the moment. I could go on for quite awhile because I’m so grateful I found yoga. Without it I would have been a loud pinball machine). When the mind isn’t screaming at you all day, you can hear the quiet, calm, truthful voice of your intuition. And if you’ve taken the time to heal yourself, you won’t even have to think about whether or not you should follow it. You’ll just be like, “Oh, really? Awesome, let’s get out of here!”. You won’t waste the gift of your time here setting yourself up to get hurt. Because, you know, you’ll love yourself. You’ll keep moving in the direction of that resounding yes within you. You probably won’t spend much time on the maybes, either. Your intuition doesn’t know the word maybe. It’s going to say yes, or no. Your mind throws in the maybe, and my belief is that a maybe is usually a no.
Go with your yes. Follow your heart. Of course take your (quiet) mind along for the ride. But let those hairs on the back of your neck tell you which way to go at every fork in the road. And be amazed by what unfolds. Wishing you enough quiet to realize what you know, and to remember who you are. Love. Ally