Everyone is working with what they’ve got, what they’ve learned, and where they happen to be on their journey, which is all subject to change. There is always potential for growth, for new understanding, for deeper compassion. Sometimes people behave in ways that are difficult to comprehend. Try not to take things personally. I know it’s hard, but most people are not trying to hurt you. In the context of intimate relationships, it’s good to remember you’re dealing with a person’s deepest pain, and you’re likely to tap areas that may not be healed yet. If things get heated, give yourself and the other person some space and a little time to breathe and figure out what’s happening. Pain will spin a person until it’s hard to figure out which end is up. In day to day interactions, just do what you can to “play well with others”, whether that means not losing your center when someone cuts you off in traffic, or not allowing a person’s indifference to make you feel all people are indifferent. They aren’t. The flip side of that coin is to be open to all the people you may pass in a day who are ready with a genuine smile, the care to hold a door open, the willingness to connect on an elevator, or on line at the bank.
Mind your own path. Keep your side of the street clean and don’t distract yourself too much with anyone else’s path. Believe me, doing your own journey well, with consciousness and kindness and compassion is plenty of work. You really can’t manage another person’s journey; it’s not your work, it’s theirs. None of us knows what someone else’s experience should be. I’m not an “everything happens for a reason” kind of yogi. I think that’s horse-crap. But I do believe life gives us many many opportunities to grow, and learn and expand and go deeper. To open our hearts and our minds, to look at places where we might need to heal, or face some realities about ourselves, or work harder. Try to receive it all with curiosity as much as possible. I’m not talking about those heart-crushing losses, receive those any way you can. And I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t allow yourself to feel all your feelings. Feel whatever you need to feel, and explore it. Open to it, receive it, and grow from it. Take that wisdom forward with you and let it literally expand your horizon. There’s so much more happening than what we see. See as much as possible. SO so much love to you, Ally