Oh, romantic love. We do such a number on ourselves. If only I could find that “right” person who’d complete me, then I’d be happy! I just need to lose ten pounds. Or live in a different house and make more money. Or have bigger biceps or boobs. Or a smaller a$$. Or something. I need to smell differently, or grow more or less hair. I need to say funny stuff, or be smarter, or get online. There’s a party happening somewhere, I just need to get my sh&t together so I get the invite. Then I’ll meet my soul-mate, and all my fears and insecurities, shame, doubt, rage, guilt, and pain will be magically washed away and we can sail off into the sunset, happily ever after! That’s how all the movies and fairy-tales end, right? HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Here’s the thing. I hope you’re with someone, or you meet someone who can really see you, and love you in a way that makes you feel free to be your most authentic self. I hope you have someone to curl up with at the end of the day, to laugh with and talk to, and lean on when times are tough. And if you do, I hope you celebrate each other every day. But even if you find that, or you already have, it’s not a magic bullet. Any healing you have to do will not suddenly disappear. It will for the first three months while the hormones are raging, but if you aren’t happy to begin with, no one else can solve that for you. And you don’t have to wait until you meet someone to start working on that. In fact, two unhappy, lost people coming together are not very likely to build something that lasts unless they work their a$$es off and want it all the way, and even then, it’s not going to be a sail into the sunset. But two people who know themselves well, who are fulfilled and inspired individually have a shot at something incredible. If you’re not with someone who’s buying you chocolate today, it can be a day about loving yourself well. Honoring and cherishing and celebrating yourself.
Whatever is happening in your life, I wanted to be sure you received at least one Valentine today. So you don’t forget. There are 7 billion people in the world, and only one you. Just one. And not even taking in all your gifts and quirks, your smile and the way your eyes light up when you’re happy or surprised, just because there is only one of you, you’re inherently amazing. Unique. Full of the particular potential to express and reflect back all the love around you through your own gorgeous lens. We all belong to each other. We really do. So you’re never alone. You’re already my Valentine. I love you and am happy you’re here. I’d shove chocolate through your computer screen if I could! Happy Valentine’s Day! Ally