Let Them Go!

Years ago, I was taking the yoga class of a good friend of mine when a girl in the back row rolled up her mat, quietly gathered her belongings and started heading for the studio door. My friend, who was a newer teacher at the time, went to the door as she was trying to scurry out. I heard him ask if she was okay. I’m not sure what she said, but then I heard him ask why she was leaving as he put himself between her and the door. I heard a lot of whispering back and forth, the entire class held hostage by the situation. I put my knees down and waited, as did a number of other people. Suddenly the girl yelled, “I don’t like the music you’re playing, or the sound of your voice, or anything you’re saying. I don’t like your class, okay?!?!” It was an awful moment, and my heart broke for him because I knew that had to hurt, but I was also pained by the fact that he hadn’t simply let her leave. There was no reason she needed to explain herself. I had a pretty good feeling she was going to feel badly later, too. It was as though a bomb had gone off in the room. He never recovered the class, mostly because a lot of his focus went out the door with the girl. He left with her, so to speak.

Rejection is an awful feeling. Depending on your feelings about yourself and where you’re at in your life, you’re likely to either brush yourself off and keep going, fall into a deep depression, find yourself obsessing about it, or start chasing. This happens in the realm of friendships, romantic relationships, or interactions with colleagues. The truth is, not everyone is going to like you. Or me. A number of years ago I went on a Match.com date with some dude. It was okay. Very nice guy, no fireworks, but good conversation and an enjoyable night. He said he’d call the next day but didn’t. I got a late-night text saying he’d call the next day instead. I wasn’t bothered because I wasn’t planning on another date. I was trying to figure out the kindest way to say that whenever he called. At the end of the second day he sent another text that it had been a crazy day and he’d catch up tomorrow. At that point, I just shot him an email and said I’d had a nice time, but I didn’t feel that pull and I suspected he didn’t either. I wished him well and meant it. No harm, no foul. The minute I told him not to call, the phone did not stop ringing.

We humans are funny. But you can trust, if someone likes you it’s not going to be a mystery. If someone wants to be with you, they’ll find a way. If someone doesn’t get you, or like your work, or enjoy your class, or want to hang out, just keep going. You’re too incredibly special to let that throw you off. Do your best not to take things personally. Life is too short to worry about the one person who doesn’t like you. Or two, or three, or whatever. Just move with the people who embrace you, who are happily moving toward you with their arms open. If someone heads for the door, wish them love!

Sending you a ton right now,

Ally Hamilton

If the posts are helpful you can find my books here and my yoga classes and courses here.

6 thoughts on “Let Them Go!”

  1. Ally, thank you for sharing this post and all of your posts. The impact that you have is powerful, and today’s message rings especially true. Thank you for all that you are and all that you do.

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