The Amazing Absence of Pain

Hey there! If you zoom in you can see I’ve had this really awesome stye on my right eye for the last few days. Pretty, huh? I got sick last week and I guess this was the parting gift! A stye is not a big deal, but I’ll tell you, this one was painful and tender, and at its worst I looked like I’d been on the wrong end of a prizefight. It’s on its way out now, and I’ve been thinking about the gratitude you feel when pain starts to subside. I know a lot of you will relate.

I go through this with migraines when I get them, that relief and incredible gratitude I feel when the pain starts to lessen — the amazing absence of pain. So I was thinking about that over the last day and it occurred to me that painful relationships are like that, too. Sometimes we get caught up in an interaction and it’s insidious; maybe things start out sweetly enough and then little by little the dynamic starts to change and we just sort of keep accepting the changes until we’re part of an interaction that is so painful and unhealthy, we’re almost unrecognizable to ourselves. Ever dealt with that? That sums up most of my relationships as a young adult.

You know the parable about the frog? If you throw a frog in a pot of boiling water it will jump right out, but if you put it in a cool pot and slowly heat the water, it won’t realize it’s boiling until it’s too late. Ever been a burnt frog and somehow managed to claw your way out of that boiling pot even though frogs don’t have claws? Remember the relief when you woke up one morning and realized life was starting to feel good again and you were maybe catching a glimpse of someone you used to know, as in yourself? The gratitude and relief when the pain starts to subside.

Anyway, I’ve been in so many interactions like that with people over the years, and I’m about to launch an online course that’s all about how we stay centered and learn to care for our froggy selves without getting boiled! It’s a month-long course that begins March 12 and includes an unlimited 30-day subscription to the website if you don’t have one already, three live talks and one guided meditation per week, and journaling prompts Monday-Friday. I’ll be suggesting classes for each week that relate to the topic we’re diving into, and also meet your varying needs based on level and how much time you have. It’s $199 for the course, you can check here for more info and to register! Love you frogs.

Ribbit, ribbit!

Ally Hamilton

8 thoughts on “The Amazing Absence of Pain”

  1. This was such a good post! Thanks, Ally! I just finalized a divorce, getting out of a very abusive marriage that was boiling me alive…but I actually didn’t realize it till I was almost dead. Crazy how that happens. Now, I’m a single mom of 5 girls, and although I’ve got a hard road ahead, I feel freer and happier than I have in such a long time. And I’m rediscovering who I am all over again. Such a great thing! Thanks for being a positive part of my journey. I discovered you from a friend, Molly Watson, and this website has helped me immensely through this past year.

    1. Heather, my sister, I am taking my hat off to you, because FIVE girls!! You know what, though? You’re showing them what it looks like to be a strong, happy woman in this world, so there are five more women who are going to grow up knowing what that looks like, and knowing they deserve love and respect and healthy, fulfilling relationships. I am giving you a huge round of applause. Reach out anytime if you need rooting on 🙂
      All my love to you and your girls!!

  2. Hi Ally, I wanted to take the time to write you a note and let you know how MUCH you have impacted my life! I feel like I know you as a friend because you have literally been in my life for four years now. You have been in my bedroom, my living room, my front yard, my back yard, my local park with me! I always play your yoga sessions on my IPad so you can go everywhere with me lol! You see a few years ago I lost the ability to get out and make it to traditional yoga classes due to my chronic health condition, mitochondrial disorder. You and your creation with Yogis Anonymous has allowed me to continue my practice and continue to keep my mental and physical health to the best it can be. I really do not know what I would have done without this service.

    Thank You for all of your hard work and dedication through the years,


    1. I can’t adequately express how much this message means to me. I am really grateful I can be there for you and with you this way. Please know that it’s as meaningful to me as it is to you, and I am rooting you on and in your corner. Sending you a giant hug and a lot of love, Ally <3

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