I just posted a new class on the site called Open Heart/Quiet Mind and it occurred to me that’s the way I try to live most of my days. That hasn’t always been easy for me, it took me years to learn how to quiet the racket in my head and trust in my ability to rise up and face life head-on.
I talked about letting go of the picture in our heads of How Things Should Be (sub-categories include: How People Should Be, What People Should Want, Say, Do or Need, How People Should Behave, Why I’m Amazing and Other People Are Getting It Wrong, Why I Suck and Other People Are Getting It Right, Why I Never Get the Breaks and Other People Do, Why It Isn’t My Fault — many sub, sub-categories in this one depending on what “It” may be — Why I’m Stuck, Why I’m Like This, Why I’m Broken, Why Everything Is Someone Else’s Fault…anyway, you get the point. The pictures in our heads or stories we tell ourselves that block any possibility for flow, inspiration, joy, love or trust) so we can open to how things are and start from there.
Sometimes we’re gripping so hard to a situation, particular outcome or person, we just aren’t living anymore. We’re in fear or delusion thinking we’re in control of life or other people or imagining we might control the weather if only we manifest a sunny day with enough intention.
What I’ve learned (the hard, painful way) is that if you’re gripping the wheel you’re suffering and you’re probably also trying to hold onto something that just isn’t meant for you. What could be more arrogant than imagining we have all the answers? If it’s that much of a struggle, if it’s constantly painful or draining, it probably isn’t for you. The sooner you release your grip and shed your tears and try to trust, the sooner you stop suffering and allow a new vision, adventure or way forward to emerge. The things, people and situations that are right for you can’t open to you when your sticky fingers are white-knuckling the wheel, your jaw is clenched and your blinders are on.
If I could go back and tell myself anything along the way during any of the many chapters I was suffering, it would be something like: Stop gripping. Stop fearing. Stop fighting and bending over backwards and pushing boulders up hills. Put the boulders down, you are not Atlas. Let life surprise you. Move toward people and situations that feel like a yes. Believe in your own resilience.
Since I can’t go back and say that to myself, I offer it to you in case you’re suffering now. Life will break your heart in a million ways, that’s the truth, but it can break your heart wide open if you let it, and then you’ll be ready to receive the flip side of suffering — all the surprises and love and chapters that make your heart sing with relief and gratitude. The people who show up and turn all your ideas about how people can be right on their head. The relationships that develop and teach you love is so much more than you understood or expected. The situations that don’t follow your map, but take their own and teach you a million things you need to know along the way, even if the path is full of thorns and and you end up bleeding. The choice is always there to open more, to trust more, to strengthen and love in a way that’s boundless. Trust that.
If you need some help opening your heart and quieting your mind, yoga is great for that. People tell me all the time that they can’t do yoga because they can’t touch their toes. If I had a dime for every time someone said that, my kids’ college fund would be brimming over, but yoga isn’t about that. I’d love to gift you a free month of yoga to the site if you haven’t subscribed before. Just go to YogisAnonymous.com, hit Sign Up, Create Account and Get Access and where it asks Do You Have a Coupon? You do! It’s: GiftFromAlly and you have until January 1st, 2019 to activate. Life can feel good. It’s short, though, there’s no time to waste.
Sending you love and wishing you peace,
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4 thoughts on “Things That Aren’t Meant for You”
Great post as usual Ally. This was definitely a read for me. I was at that open, peaceful, serene place awhile back but as of late, I’ve taken most of God’s jobs back. Thinking why aren’t people seeing my side of things, you know, the way it should be if we want peace and serenity. I’ve let this political arena into my head and can’t seem to get it out. Too many “if only”, too many sides, too much division, etc., etc. The merry-go-round isn’t stopping long enough to get off. Of course, like you mentioned, I’m gripping those horses pretty tight though, thinking I may change them doves at some point. Nope the horses remain. I swear my head has taken on a disease that I thought I had got rid of years ago. Apparently there were a few virus cells left. In any case Ally, I’m keeping this post of yours to ruminate over and over for a few days/weeks in hopes I can achieve clarity again. Thank you for being you Ally. Love you lady. Take care.
Hi Randy!! Honestly, if I didn’t do my yoga and sit and meditate every day, it wouldn’t take long for me to start gripping the wheel again and maybe even find myself in someone else’s lane!!! 😉 (Not that it doesn’t ever happen, haha, it just makes it easier to catch myself sooner). Anyway, glad this came at the right time. You are a good egg, I’m not worried about you. Lots of love to you!!!
Thanks for the reply Ally. I think I need a mood change (sunshine). Too cold and cloudy in Minnesota. Agree that self awareness helps us make quicker better choices in our thinking and behavior. BTW: I’ve never been called a “good egg” before. LOL Hope that’s a good thing. 🙂
Spot on again Aly , we all tend to “grip the wheel” letting go is the hardest thing to do I always say “go with the flow” embrace the practice be at one with yourself at all times Yoga is never about the competition can I touch the floor it’s about being the best you can be using breath to release and relax your being not letting negativity / anxiety control yor emotions ❤️🙏