I caught my Inner Critic trying to cause trouble earlier today, let’s call her Gladys. Gladys is a pain in the ass, and I rarely hear from her these days because I make a point of not making her feel welcome and I spent years telling her to pipe down and move along. But every so often if I’m not getting enough rest, or one of my kids is struggling with something, or I’m grieving or whatever the case may be, Gladys might pop by for a visit just to see if she can set up shop again. After all, she lived in my head for decades, and she probably misses the fun of torturing me. But I worked too hard to evict her, and I can smell her perfume coming. It’s the kind that gives me a headache, you know the stuff. Anyway, Gladys was feeling that I was not accomplishing quite enough to meet her exacting standards today and I noticed she was doing that because I started to feel this sense of dis-ease in my body. When I realized what was happening, I told Gladys to f&ck right off. Then I reminded myself that not every day has to be this super-productive, highly efficient experience, and that actually I had managed to do quite a lot of the important things. I made my kids lunch and hugged and kissed them both before my ridiculously tall teenager left for high school, and my middle-schooler hopped out of the car. So they both arrived to school on time, with lunch in their bags, feeling loved. I could have just stopped my day right there and that would have been a good day, right?
Then my friend Lauren Peterson came to film, and because there’s a crazy heatwave in Los Angeles (sorry to my east coast friends), I filmed her in the Practice Garden. So there’s a new Lauren class on the way, and that’s pretty awesome, right? Not sure what Gladys’ actual problem was, are you? I didn’t give Gladys any time when I went to meet Angela for lunch. Spending time with people you love is pretty productive, wouldn’t you say? And we had a great lunch and some quality time where no one was looking at a phone or distracted by anything, really, which is pretty marvelous. Connection is everything, and I could have ended my day there and it would have been great, right? But then I got in my car and for whatever reason, Gladys was just really persistent today. I’ve been thinking about my mom a lot because February 7th marked two months since she died and I can’t really believe it’s been that long, and I’m about to have the first birthday I’ll have without her, so that’s probably why Gladys thinks there might be a chink in my armor. By the time I got home I was feeling a little down again.
I walked into my house to find that while I was out my husband had decorated the entire living room with every kind of streamer and balloon for my birthday, because he’s that guy. The kind that makes you know you are super special to him and your birthday matters and he’s going to make sure you feel cherished. I’m surprised Gladys didn’t pack it in right then. Not sure how she thought she might still have a chance, but she did. So I told my husband I was feeling blue and he just hugged me because he doesn’t try to solve that kind of thing because he’s awesome. And then I thought, well Gladys, imma bring out the kryptonite now, we are heading to the mat. (Except Gladys is not a superhero, she’s a witch, but you catch my drift.) Anyway, that finally did it. Gladys was just no match for our yoga practice and I could feel her evaporating into the ethers as I saw both the moon rising and the sun setting while I practiced. And I filmed the class for y’all.
I’m about to get ready to have dinner with one of my BFFs who has a birthday just before mine. We’ve been celebrating together since high school. Then I’ll come home to my little family. And even though I had to fight her off hard today, Gladys didn’t win. She will never, ever rob me of another day ever again. I worked too hard to erode her for years and I just will not give her a foothold…not even a toehold.
If you need help with your own Inner Gladys, you know where to find me!
Sending you love,
If you could use a coaching session or a package of sessions (scroll down after you click on the link), I have space for one new weekly or biweekly client for February and I can schedule one-off sessions as well. Watch this video about my approach to coaching here and email me to schedule at firstname.lastname@example.org