Like many people, I am a child of divorce. My parents split up when I was four years old and I spent my childhood dealing with the aftermath. In addition to all the painful and challenging feelings that arise when your parents don’t live under the same roof, there was also the reality of being in one place for three nights, the other for four and so on and so forth. The difference in rules and energy at each house, the things said by one parent about another, new partners coming into the equation, all the elements that go with divorce when there are children involved. The last thing I wanted was to have children of my own and get divorced, but that is what happened and that’s the life I’ve been navigating for the last eight years with my children, now nine and twelve. I stayed in business with my ex-husband for seven of those eight years since our divorce – that’s what I call advanced yoga. I am now engaged to a man who is also divorced and has three older children, so soon I will add stepmom to all the different perspectives I have. No one would ask to be an expert on divorce but I’ve found myself on every side of the divorce equation and I have some insight from all the different angles about healing, integrating and moving forward.
It’s not an easy thing to let go of a vision you had for your life (and your children’s lives if you have children) and open up to a new reality. It hurts, and if you’re like most people, the experience of getting divorced drives that lesson home like no other. It is normal to feel immense grief, rage, disappointment, heartache, fear, anxiety and depression. It is normal to mourn. Depending on the circumstances, you’ll probably feel all of those feelings at some point. There is not a single area where my yoga practice has not helped me sail through this storm. I’ve designed a month-long course to share the tools that have most helped me understand, accept, forgive, trust, let go and open up to love and joy again.
What we’ll be doing:
When you sign up for the course, you’ll get a copy of my book, “Yoga’s Healing Power: Looking Inward for Change, Growth and Peace”* and we’ll be following a different chapter in the book for each of the four weeks of the course. At the end of each chapter, there are journaling exercises that we’ll talk about together on a dedicated (secret) Facebook page for the group, and I will also tailor some journaling questions for our particular topic. You’ll get a month’s access to my website (YogisAnonymous.com) and every day I will make a different class suggestion based on our theme for the week. I will begin each week with a live, guided meditation centered around the theme, and you can join live, or do the meditation as it fits into your schedule. The meditation of the week is designed to be done each and every day. I will also do two live talks each week around our topic. Here’s a sample of Week 1 so you have an idea:
The focus of Week 1 is Samskaras (patterns) that cause us heartache. This is the theme of Chapter 1 in the book. Monday morning I will begin with a meditation about eroding old grooves that lead to pain, and creating new grooves that help us open up to joy. You may find that there are patterns of behavior or thinking that contributed to the demise of your marriage, or that you are falling into certain traps as you move through your separation and divorce. Spotting patterns is the first step toward changing them. Let me be clear – we can’t change your ex, so we are going to be focused on how we can shift things for you. I am going to ask you to take a look at ways you participated in the unraveling of your relationship, even if it was simply allowing yourself to be mistreated or disrespected. None of this stuff is easy, we’re diving into some tender places and I want you to understand that if you decide to sign up. We can’t heal you in a month, but I can definitely teach you the tools and ways of thinking about things that helped me move across this painful terrain so that you have a foundation to work from moving forward. When you can’t change a situation that’s causing you pain, your next logical step is to change the way you’re thinking about it and working with it.
Every day I will make a different class suggestion based on the themes we’re working with. Wednesdays and Fridays I will do live talks about the topic of the week, and you can tune in live or watch later and then comment. I will answer everyone, so don’t worry if you can’t join while it’s happening.
We’ll work this way for four weeks. Here are the topics for our month of accepting, integrating and moving toward healing:
Week 1: Patterns (Samskaras) That Don’t Serve Us (and How to Break Them)
Week 2: Discernment (Viveka) Seeing Clearly (Understanding What Happened So We Can Move Forward with Clarity)
Week 3: Attachment (Raga) vs. Acceptance (Santosha): Making Peace with How Things Are
Week 4: The Strength of Vulnerability (The Kleshas, and how fear keeps us stuck whereas trust and forgiveness free us)
Some Topics We’ll Cover Include:
What Happened and Why (this is group work, but you’ll draw individual conclusions)
How to Open to a New Vision
How to Negotiate This Landscape if You Have Children
Post-Divorce Dating
(sub-topics for people with children, such as: when and how it makes sense to introduce a new partner to your children, how to deal with your ex and their new partners, how to deal with your new partner’s ex and many more)
How to Put a Time-Stamp on Your Divorce if You Feel Stuck in Rage or Grief
How to Open Up to Joy Again
As with all group courses, topics will also emerge based on the conversations we have. Whether you are newly divorced and struggling with wrapping your arms and head around your new reality, or you’ve been divorced for years but still feel stuck in rage or grief, this course will help you move forward. You can be new to yoga, or a long-time practitioner. You can be new to meditation or someone with a regular practice. I will tailor class suggestions to meet your personal needs. I’m not a therapist ( though I am a big proponent of therapy), I am a coach and a yoga teacher for over two decades. In my opinion, your practice should be there for you when times get tough, and it should offer you the tools to heal and open up again. That is what this course is all about. I am not afraid to get into the nitty-gritty with you, and I am also not afraid to kindly hold up a mirror if I think there are places where you’re getting in your own way. If you have children, I will offer my insight as to how you can best support them as they move through this difficult experience with you and their other parent. This is some of the most painful stuff in life, and I take it very seriously.
*continental U.S. only for the books! You are welcome to join the course from anywhere and I hope you do. I am not able to ship the book outside the U.S. so please purchase the book and email me the receipt so I can deduct that amount from the course for you!
The Cost: $250 for the month which includes access to the secret Facebook page, a month’s subscription to my website (if you’re already a member, the cost of the course is $235), a copy of my book (you can gift yours to a friend if you have a copy already), 4 live, guided meditations, 8 live talks, tailored journaling questions along with the journaling at the end of each chapter, and curated daily yoga classes. I will be available along the way both on the Facebook page and over email if you have things you need to share directly with me. If you have questions, please email me at: ally@yogisanonymous.com
Healing Begins March 18-April 18, 2019
Click here to enroll now!
There are a lot of heartbreaking experiences in life, but I believe the trick is to allow your heart to break open instead of allowing these experiences to harden you. If you’re ready to soften and open, let’s do this together.
Wishing you lots of love, and please do share this with anyone you think might benefit!
Ally Hamilton